


the colours of the wind and the wind in your hair

by orphan_account



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: M/M, Mashton
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-06
Updated: 2013-07-06
Packaged: 2017-12-17 21:54:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/872366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ashton works at a diner and is the town's golden boy and Michael has a motorbike and tattoos and rainbow hair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. the colours of the wind and the wind in your hair chapter one

**Author's Note:**

> First 5SOS fic and idk what im even doing.  
> This is for my darling Lakan and Claudia whom I love very much.  
> Enjoy.

"Table two, Ashton! And don't forget to replace the napkins this time."

"Yes sir, on it." Ashton replied to his boss as he hurried over to the dirty table. Working as quick as he could, he collected all the dishes and cups onto the cart and wiped off the table. He placed new napkins in the middle with a flourish and rolled the cart into the kitchen.

Ashton worked at the diner for two years now, at first only working a couple hours after school. Now that he needed to save up for uni and a car, minimum wage wasn't gonna cut it. He came in for hours after class, doing homework during his breaks and flirting with customers in his free time. Not that the manager or other employees cared, really. Ashton's cute face and charming personality brought people in, usually a whole group of girls who managed to coincidently drop in only during Ashton's shifts. But it wasn't just the young girls that Ashton had become friendly with, but even the adults and elders of the community. They all knew him and respected him, making cheerful small talk during their meals and leaving generous tips. All in all, Ashton had just about the whole town charmed. It was quite a feat, though his town wasn't exactly New York. So what if there was only one mall and one high school, and the small population meant everyone knew everyone's business? Ashton felt very much at home here, thank you very much. The familiarity, the people and the warmness of the area were things that he wasn't ready to give up just yet.

After unloading all the dishes into the sink, he brushed off his apron and hurried out to his new table. He briskly walked over to the table for two and pulled out his little note pad and pen.

"Hey there, I'm Ashton and I'll be your server for today," he started, scribbling on the paper and then tugging his name tag to annunciate his name. Only then did he look up to acknowledge his customers with a friendly grin.

His first instinct was to drop his jaw but he managed to paste that smile back on again and pretend that he wasn't going into full fledged panic-mode.

Only two things could provoke such a reaction out of Ashton and those would be a zombie apocalypse or none other than Michael Clifford.

Michael mother fucking Clifford. He was well known, but not popular; loud, but not obnoxious; different but not peculiar. Yet everything about him made Ashton feel overwhelmed. His sleek, black motorcycle that roared loudly whenever he sped past. His multicoloured hair that some could argue was purple and blue, but others would insist it was fuchsia and violet. Either way, it caused too much controversy than a head of hair should. And don't even get Ashton started on his ridiculous band shirts and tanks, and still-in-progress sleeve of tattoos lining his left arm with swirls of flowers, words and who knows what else.

He was outrageous. He was a statement. He was abnormal.  
And startlingly irresistible.

Ashton would never admit it out loud, but he was head over heels for that boy. He wanted to despise that loud motorbike and crazy hair. He wanted to scoff at those tattoos with unrecognizable phrases and drawings. He wanted to roll his eyes at the calm, smirky attitude that Michael walked with. But each and every one of those things had contributed to Ashton's infatuation with the other boy, each of those things and more made Ashton want to know him better, indulge him. Not to mention some other blush worthy things that Ashton wanted to do to him. And his hair and tattoos weren't the only shocking thing about the boy. His features weren't anything to just nod at. He had smooth looking skin and creamy complexion, slight definition in his arms and chest, and full, pink lips. His smile seemed shy and modest, but his cheeky eyes told you otherwise.

Oh god, his eyes.

They were so blue that it wasn't fucking fair, and Ashton knew he'd be perfectly content for the rest of his life if he could just stare at them forever. He was so gone for this boy, and there was no going back. Though it felt weird for Ashton to think of another guy as beautiful, there were no other words to describe Michael. Things that would come close would be sexy, cheeky, incredibly ho-

"-and we'll just start with those drinks, yeah?" Michael finished with a pleasant smile, looking up at Ashton.

Ashton stared back, completely unaware at what Michael had said, only catching the last bit of his order after snapping out of his initial shock of seeing Michael, _sitting right there, right there..._

Ashton finally remembered how to talk and managed to stutter out, "Oh I, um, sorry mate, I didn't catch what you said. What drink would ya like to um, start with?"

Michael's smile reached his eyes, with no sign of annoyance showing on his face.  
"Just an iced tea for me and the lovely lady here, thanks." He motioned to the girl sitting across from him, his date.

Of course, Ashton recognized her from school, a cute junior with a polite smile and big eyes. She was the clean-cut kind of girl, with her hair pulled back in a bun so perfectly that no stray hairs were left behind, her shirt buttoned modestly high, and uncreased cardigan sitting on her tiny shoulders. Hardly someone that seemed compatible with Michael.

Not that Ashton knew what Michael's type was, or if Michael even had a type. But if he did, a cardigan wearing school girl didn't seem like the likely choice. He thought more of a hippie or punk, either the girl who smiled at everyone, and wore flouncy dresses and a crown of pale flowers in her hair, or that girl with her hair full of brightly coloured steaks and combat boots, strutting with a permanent grin.

Or maybe, hopefully, a blonde boy with a 3.9 GPA and nothing special about him except for the fact that he was voted "most likely to succeed" every year. But who's even keeping count. Not Ashton.

Ashton pulled himself away from his thoughts and nodded. "Coming right up!" He said with the most cheerful voice he could muster and turned on his heal and headed to the kitchen at fast as he could without falling over. When he was safely behind the doors, he slumped over the counter and took a deep breathe.

Holy shit. Holy _shit._

Even though the thought of waitering Michael made his stomach turn, Ashton also felt a bit of excitement. As long as he didn't blank out again, this could be a little fun, an excellent opportunity. He could get to know Michael and actually _talk_ to him for one of the first times in his life.

But how was he going to last an entire dinner serving Michael and his date if he couldn't even handle standing in his presence for two minutes?!

 _Just concentrate, don't freak out._ Ashton told himself. _Stay cool._

He tousled his hair and wiped his hands on his apron. Pouring two glasses of iced tea, Ashton pushed open the doors and swiftly walked to the table, trying to look as calm and cool as he could.

"Two iced teas, here ya go." Ashton said, placing the cups on the table. "Ready to order?"  
He hovered his pen over the notebook and looked at Michael and the girl with a boyish grin.

The girl rattled off her order, with a side of this and that, hold the croutons, and do you have a healthier alternative? Ashton scribbled everything down as quick as he could and turned to Michael who ordered something simple, thanked Ashton and then he was on his feet back into the kitchen.  
The rest of the night was the same, bringing their plates of food with sparkling eyes and grins at Michael who was more than willing to offer similar smiles back at Ashton. He stopped at their table twice to ask if they were enjoying their meal and if everything was ok, and not once did the girl look at Ashton. Not that it offended Ashton anyways, he could care less about that girl, all eyes and attention was on Michael and he hoped he wasn't coming on too strong. Was it rude to hit on someone while they were on a date?

Ashton scoffed. Who cares? It's not like he was ruining what could be a perfect relationship between the girl and Michael. Ashton could tell by Michael's uncomfortable faces and tight smiles when she talked to him that he wasn't very much into her. And that made Ashton grin. Oops.

At the end of the night, Ashton brought them the check and ushered them to the exit.

"Thank you and hope to see you soon!" Ashton called to them, his regular goodbye to customers.

Michael turned around and smiled. "Defiantly. Defiantly hope to see you soon."

And with a wink and a flip of his multicoloured hair, Michael was gone, leaving Ashton with his jaw dropped and a blush creeping up towards his unbelieving eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wahh that was chapter one and dont worry there will be tons more chapters. Leave kudos and comments to motivate me to continue lol thanks guys xx


	2. the colours of the wind and the wind in your hair chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this is just a short filler chapter to keep the story going. Enjoy.

Ashton was unfortunately in none of Michael's classes and hardly saw him at school that week, never mind making direct contact. He wondered if Michael's flirty promise of seeing him again was just a nonchalant joke, and then chastised himself for believing that there was even a possibility that Michael liked him. Ashton tried to get rid of that flicker of hope that Michael will approach him, ask for his number, fall in love and give him a blowjob in the back room at the diner. But he felt Michael taking a bigger place in his thoughts than before. It drove Ashton crazy that he was completely oblivious to whether Michael was actually interested or not, so he made a decision. 

If Michael didn't speak to him by tomorrow, Ashton would make the first move. No big deal right?

Wrong. 

Friday came and went with no contact from Michael and Ashton reluctantly grew disappointed. He went to work with a bad attitude and a frown on his face and that resulted in a noticeably less amount of tips.   
Ashton's shift was almost over and he was about to untie his apron and start packing up his stuff when his boss told him that someone was asking for him at the front door. His heart jumped and his mind went straight to Michael but he scolded himself, telling himself that the he wouldn't be here after a whole week of not keeping his word. 

But there, leaning against the door frame of the double entrance to the diner, was a denim clad boy with rainbow hair and Ashton's heart skipped a beat. He suddenly felt self conscious, worrying about the appearance of his hair that must be sticking up in all directions, and the stains on his apron. He fought the urge to turn on his heel, run away from Michael and never have to see the boy again, but he knew better. 

Michael looked up and Ashton felt his cheek flush. God, he was gorgeous. And the initial shock never wore off, dammit. Every time Ashton looked at him, he was entranced by his red mouth and piercing blue eyes and it drove him crazy. It just wasn't fucking fair to look like that and Ashton could tell by Michael's smirk that he knew it as well. 

Damn that boy, damn it all. 

"Fancy seeing you here," Michael said with a wink and playful smile. 

Ashton gulped but managed to shoot back a reply with the same flirty tone. "S'not like I work here or anything."

"How could I forget? You were the hottest waiter I've ever had the pleasure of being served by," Michael replied lightly, casually, like he was simply discussing what nice weather they've been having. 

Ashton was certain that his face must be as red as a tomato by now, but he replied back smoothly. "And you were the hottest customer I had the pleasure of serving." 

Michael tried to smirk, but it turned into more of a pleased grin that reached his eyes. "God, I like you already. Go on a date with me."

Ashton tried to conceal his look of surprise of how direct Michael was and answered evenly. "I don't know, my mama says stay away from the bad boys. Don't want to get into any trouble," he teased. 

"I promise, I'm not that naughty," Michael laughed. "Unless you want me to be."

Ashton was speechless and taken aback. "Oh, um. Yes. To the date, yes to the date."

Michael grinned, pleased with himself that he was able to falter Ashton's cool attitude. "Perfect. I wasn't going to leave this diner until you said yes anyways."

"Good thing I like you enough, otherwise we'd be here all day, eh?" Ashton joked. 

Michael smiled warmly with no trace of teasing. "I wouldn't really mind."

Ashton blushed. "Do you even know my name?" He blurted. 

Michael blinked. "What? Of course. Ashton, please. We live in a hell of a small town, who's name don't you know?"

Ashton flushed with embarrassment and ducked his head. "Yeah, I just-"

"And how could I possibly not notice you?" Michael added flirtatiously. 

Ashton stepped forward and grabbed Michael's hand. Michael looked up at him with a confused expression. Pulling out the pen from his apron, Ashton hastily scrawled his phone number into Michael's hand. 

"Call me, okay?" Ashton said in one breath. 

Michael nodded. "And I'll never wash my hand again," he said dramatically. 

Ashton rolled his eyes. "That's gross."

"It's romantic!" Michael argued. 

"Gross," Ashton retaliated, and with that, he side stepped Michael and walked out the door, only looking back to offer a wave and playful smile. "See you!"

Michael waved back and Ashton inwardly screamed. He just talked to Michael Clifford, he just got asked out by Michael Clifford. This was the best day in his life, until the day he gets the opportunity to suck Michael's dick. 

If he gets the opportunity. 

He hoped he one day would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked, I try to update everyday, or every other day. Love you xx


	3. the colours of the wind and the wind in your hair chapter three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a longer one, cute and fluffy. I guess the plot is just getting started now   
> Enjoy :)

Ashton defiantly didn't wait by his phone all weekend. He defiantly didn't jump when it rang and his heart defiantly didn't sink when the person on the other side wasn't Michael. 

It was safe to say that Ashton was infatuated, so gone for this boy and there wasn't going back. 

He felt far too disappointed when he never got a call from Michael by the end of the weekend, and that put him in a bad mood all through Monday morning. He was oddly quiet during lunch and Luke, his best friend since they were just out of diapers, noticed. 

"Mate, what the hell?" Luke commented as Ashton unenthusiastically picked at his chips. 

Ashton looked up. "What?"

Luke eyed him. "You haven't said a word to me all day. Not even about Ava's ass. You always say at least one thing about how great Ava's ass is."

Ashton rolled his eyes. "You make me sound like a pervert. I don't always talk about her ass. I just appreciate it."

"Whatever, but I know something's wrong," Luke said, giving his friend a look. "And don't say nothing, because I might be getting a 60 in math, but I'm not that stupid."

Ashton bit his lip. Luke knew that he wasn't completely straight, so telling him about Michael wasn't a problem. The reason he's never said anything about his attraction to the school's bad boy was because of what Luke thought about him. Michael had a reputation, and Luke frowned down upon it. The stories they've heard about the drugs Michael's done and the parties he's went to and all the girls made Luke not the biggest fan of him. And that's why Ashton hesitated about saying anything. But he couldn't lie to Luke now, he would just see right through it. 

"Okay, so you're right," Ashton said, exhaling. 

Luke smirked and opened his mouth. "See, I know you so well, dammit, I'm literally the best-"

Ashton cut him off. "Yeah, yeah. Don't need to gloat. Besides, it's not a big deal."

Luke still had the smirk on his face but he motioned with his hand for Ashton to continue. 

"So there's a guy and I like him and I talked to him and we were flirting and I thought he was into me and I'm totally into him so anyways I gave him my number and he hasn't called and I thought he was actually into me and now I just don't know," Ashton said in a rush.

His words were jumbled together and Luke took a second to access what Ashton just said. 

"Okay. Okay. So who's the guy?" Luke asked cautiously. 

Ashton blushed and looked down. "Um, Michael? With the purple ha-"

This time, Luke cut Ashton off. "Yeah, I know who he is. Who doesn't?" Luke thought for a second before speaking again. "Wow, so Michael Clifford. Didn't see that one coming."

"I thought you said you knew me too well," Ashton joked, a weak attempt to lighten up Luke. 

Luke shrugged. "So, where did you met him? And you talked to him? That must have took balls," Luke laughed, but then he quickly frowned.  
"Wait, he never called you? What an asshole. See, this is why I don't like that guy," he added. 

Ashton ran his fingers through his hair. "He was at the diner with a date and I was waitering for them. We flirted, I guess. Couple days later, he showed up alone and we talked and I gave him my number and that's it," Ashton said with a sigh. And then he narrowed his eyes at Luke.   
"And he's not an asshole."

Luke put up his hands, mock surrendering. "Sure, okay. But wow, you're really into him?"

Ashton nodded. "Yeah. I guess I am."

Luke smiled, warmly this time. "He'll call," he said with conviction. "Trust me, he will."

Ashton picked at his lunch. "I hope so."

~~~

Ashton threw his bag over his shoulder and closed his locker. He was happy that the day passed without seeing Michael, avoiding any conversation that could turn awkward. He was also relieved that Luke didn't give him too much shit about Michael, which was a major plus. He thought about what his friend said, that Michael will call. God, Ashton hoped that he would. And he felt a little pathetic for wanting it so badly. 

He turned the corner into his neighbourhood and bumped directly into some one, interrupting his thoughts. 

"Shit, sorry," Ashton said, and then froze. Of course, it was Michael. Was the god damn world playing tricks on him or did luck just want to screw him over? 

Michael smiled lazily. "Ashton, just the pretty boy I wanted to see." 

Ashton flushed at the compliment and offered a smile. "Hi," he giggled, and then had to hold back a wince at how stupid he must have sounded by giggling.

Michael's lips tugged up farther. "God, you're adorable," he remarked. "Come on." And with that, he turned on his heel and started walking in the opposite direction of Ashton's street. 

Ashton looked down to where his house was, and then at Michael's retreating figure, his colorful hair sticking up in the back and his tight black jeans hugging his legs. With a defeated sigh, he hurried to catch up with Michael. 

"So, um. Where exactly are we going?" Ashton asked. 

Michael turned to him. "Somewhere special. One of my favourite places."

Ashton nodded, and saw Michael walking in the direction of the school's student parking lot.

They approached the shiny black and silver motorbike that Ashton recognized as Michael's. 

"Wait, we're riding on that?" Ashton gulped. 

"Yeah, unless you want to walk," Michael retorted. "And I don't want to walk so there's not really a choice here." 

Ashton eyed the dangerous looking bike and faltered. 

Michael titled his head at Ashton. "Hey, I'm good with this thing. You'll be fine. Don't you trust me?"

No, Ashton wanted to say. No, I don't trust you or your damn motorbike and all the crazy things that people have said about you. 

But that's what made Ashton want Michael even more, he wanted all the excitement and new experiences that he could never get in the boring sequence of his life. So. 

"Yes," Ashton replied and grabbed the helmet that Michael was holding out to him. 

Michael grinned and hopped onto the seat, patting the leather fabric behind him. "Come 'ere," he said to Ashton. 

Ashton sat behind Michael and pressed his body flush against him, instantly wrapping his arms around the the boy's slim waist. Michael revved the engine and then they were off, tearing down the road. Cars and houses and street signs were a blur and Ashton tightened his grip, pressing his cheek on Michael's back. They were going down a street that Ashton didn't recognize and a bit of curiosity filled him. 

Michael's favourite place? What could that possibly be?

Ashton felt the bike slow to a stop and he peeled himself off Michael, embarrassed at how tight he was holding on. Michael chuckled and helped Ashton off. 

They were standing in a little clearing that was just off a dirt path. The grass was green and soft and even, and the trees around then were tall and thin. He saw patches of wild flowers sprouting up everywhere and above them, the sun shined in the blue sky, complete with fluffy white clouds. It was picture perfect. Ashton didn't know that places like this even really existed, never mind right here in his small town. He was so caught up in admiring the beauty of the clearing that he didn't even notice that his jaw was slightly dropped and Michael was looking at him. 

Ashton blushed, for maybe the hundredth time that day, and lowered his eyes. "I was just-"

"So you like it?" Michael interrupted, his smile big. 

Ashton nodded. "Yes, oh god. It's fucking beautiful here. Wow. How the hell did you find this place?"

Michael shrugged and started walking towards a flower patch. Ashton quickly followed. "Was just wondering around outside of town. Stumbled upon this place, and I've been coming here a lot ever since."

Ashton giggled at the thought of it. Michael, with his roaring bike and loud hair, hanging out in this delicate place. 

"What?" Michael said with a soft smile. He sat down and crossed his legs, and Ashton joined him. 

"Nothing, I was just-nothing," he stuttered lamely. 

"You're really, really cute when you do that," Michael blurted out, his chill persona fading for second. 

Ashton blinked, surprised. "When I do what?"

Michael looked down, and Ashton almost dropped his jaw at the sight of Michael, Michael god damn Clifford, being shy. 

"When you laugh," Michael said, smiling at the ground and picking some flowers. "Just saying."

Ashton blushed. "Oh. Well, thank you."

Michael just nodded in response, still plucking flowers and threading or tying them together. Ashton couldn't really tell what he was doing. 

"So, why did you bring me here?" Ashton asked to fill the silence. 

"You ask a lot of questions," Michael replied, not looking up. "It's a good thing that you have nice voice." 

"A nice . . . voice?" Ashton inquired. 

Michael nodded. "It's nice," he stated. 

Ashton thought about how odd this was. He's liked this guy for a long time, never really talked to him before, and now he's with him at a deserted clearing receiving compliments and sitting in grass. 

All that, and yet he felt at ease, comfortable in their silence. Weird. 

After a couple of quiet minutes, Michael held up a crown of purple flowers and white daises. 

So that was what he was doing with the flowers, Ashton thought. 

It was impressive, the flowers were neatly threaded together, another one starting right where the other ended, in a pattern of purple, white, purple, white. Each flower had an even amount of petals and some leaves were left on, adding some thickness to where the thin stems entwined. Ashton certainly didn't expect this from Michael. But he did vaguely remember thinking something about how Michael probably liked girls who wore flowers in their hair, and he smiled. 

"Is that a flower crown?" Ashton asked. 

Michael offered a sideways smile. "Damn right it is."

And then Michael leaned forward and placed it on top of Ashton's head, letting it fall to just above his ears on the side. Ashton blushed. Again. 

"Oh. Um."

Michael's smile faltered at Ashton's expression. "Sorry if that was stupid, you can take it off if you want." This time is was Michael's turn to blush. 

Ashton widened his eyes. "What? No, no. I like it. I love it. Thank you."

Michael relaxed again and then laid down with his arms behind his head. Ashton stayed cross legged beside Michael. 

"Tell me about you," Michael said simply. 

Ashton frowned. "What do you want to know?"

Michael thought for a second. "You say something about you, and then I say something about me," he decided. "Also I can ask you questions if I want," he added hastily with slight defiance in his voice. 

"Okay," Ashton agreed. "Um, something about me. Right. Well, I only have one friend, really. One real friend."

Michael's eyes were closed and he nodded. "Mm. That blonde, who always tries to hide a scowl when he sees me."

Ashton smiled. "Ah. He's not exactly your biggest fan."

"I've noticed."

"He's a really good guy though," Ashton continued defensively. "We've been mates since before elementary. Always has my back. We've had great times." 

Michael nodded again. "He seems nice enough. I hope I get to meet him and change his attitude on me?" Michael phrased it like a question, like he was asking Ashton's permission. 

"Of course. Yes. That should happen," confirmed Ashton. "You're turn." 

Michael was quiet for a couple long moments, and then spoke. "I like pizza."

Ashton waited for him to add on anything else but Michael was silent. 

"Pizza. You like pizza," stated Ashton with an eye brow raised. 

Michael opened one eye and grinned up at Ashton. "Yes. Don't you?" 

Ashton shook his head and laughed. "God. Yes, Michael, I do." 

"Well look at that, we both like pizza. We're basically soulmates," Michael joked, and Ashton laughed again. 

"Basically. So is it my turn now?" He asked. 

"No, still my turn," Michael declared. "I also like flower crowns, especially when cute blonde boys wear them." 

Ashton titled his head back and smiled at the sky. "Good."

Michael nodded sat up for a second just to place his head down in Ashton's lap. "Now it's your turn." 

"I like boys with rainbow hair," Ashton smiled, and threaded his hand through Michael's soft locks. "Boys with flirty smiles and lots of tattoos."

Michael pushed his head gently into Ashton's touch and smiled widely. "Good."

Ashton massaged the other boy's scalp and hesitated before asking, "What do your tattoos mean?"

"Which one?" Michael answered easily. 

"I don't know. Any one. I'm curious."

Michael lifted his arm to his face and the rolled off Ashton's lap, into a sitting position in front of him. Ashton waited patiently. To his surprise, Michael tugged the collar of his loose tank top down, exposing a highly detailed tattoo of three roses, following the slant of his collar bones, a tattoo that Ashton didn't know he had. They were farther down from his bones, but fell at the same angle, the petals tainted with red and the thorns harshly sharp. Ashton didn't realize he was holding in a breath until he exhaled. 

"Oh." 

"This is my favourite," Michael spoke. 

"Why?" Ashton pressed. 

Michael shrugged and touched the third rose with his finger tips, and then the second and first. "My mom told me that life was like a rose. Dangerous and could hurt if you dealt with it wrong. But take away the things that hurt, the thorns, and you're left with something beautiful to cherish," his voice fading until his last words were almost a whisper. 

Ashton looked up at Michael's eyes. He knew at that moment that Michael wasn't what all those rumours said about him. There was more to this boy than leather and smirks. And Ashton felt so happy that he was seeing more of him. His heart glowed and Ashton's absolute love for that boy grew. Michael was breathtaking in every way. 

"It's beautiful," Ashton marveled, and judging by Michael's bright smile, he knew he said the right thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed :) next chapter will be out very soon, ill try for tomorrow night  
> Love you  
> Thanks xx


	4. the colours of the wind and the wind in your hair chapter four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just another filler chapter!

"Michael wants to meet you," Ashton said as casually as he could to Luke in class. 

Luke snapped up his head. "What?"

Ashton shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Um, Michael. He said he'd like to meet you."

"Yeah, I heard. But why?" Luke stared at Ashton and cocked his head. 

Ashton shrugged. "I talked to him yesterday and he said he wanted to get to know you. That's it."

Luke looked at him incredulously. "You talked to Michael. About me."

"Not just you, don't flatter yourself Lukey," Ashton teased. 

Luke blinked, ignoring the joke. "Okay, so you guys are proper friends now? Hanging out, talking."

Ashton blushed. "I don't know. Friends isn't really the right word," he shook his head. "Anyways. I want you to meet him. He's not a bad guy."

"Alright, alright. I'll talk to him. And I'll also find out what's really going on between you two, because you've been too vague for something to not be going on," Luke narrowed his eyes. 

Thankfully, the teacher shushed them, so Ashton didn't have to respond to Luke. He wondered what his best friend would say to Michael, and what Michael might say about him to Luke. And those thoughts kept him nervous and distracted all day. 

~~~

When Ashton was about to start walking home, he saw Michael standing by his bike. They caught eyes and Michael waved him over. 

"Hi," Ashton grinned. 

"Hi," Michael replied and patted the seat. "Want a ride?"

Ashton nodded. "Sure, but I don't need to go home just yet," he added. 

Michael just hummed in response and and buttoned up his jacket. 

"We can go to . . . you know," Ashton suggested, referring to the clearing, Michael's favourite place. 

Michael smiled. "Okay," he said, automatically knowing what Ashton meant. 

And after that, it became a tradition. At the end of the day, Ashton hopped on Michael's bike and they'd ride to the beautiful clearing. They would just lay down and talk about everything, from their families to their classes, from their favourite things to funny stories. Michael would spend much time trying to make Ashton giggle, even resorting to pressing his long fingers into the blonde boy's sides, tickling him. Sometimes they'd let a comfortable silence envelope them as Ashton stroked Michael's hair in his lap. And after a couple hours, Michael would lean over, place the flower crown that he'd been working on all that time over Ashton's head, and drive him home. They'd part with a smile and wave, and Ashton would place the crown between two sheets of paper and press it under a pile of heavy books. 

It wasn't cheesy or romantic that he pressed and preserved the flower crowns that Michael made him. Ashton just didn't want all the work Michael put into making them go to waste. 

It had nothing to do with the fact that he couldn't bring himself to throwing out the beautiful flowers, or that he loved how Michael spent time making them for him. 

Or so he told himself. 

~~~

They were at the clearing one day after school and Ashton was telling Michael about the tattoos he wanted until they fell into a silence. 

Ashton broke it first. "Remember that day I served you at the diner I work at?"

Michael smiled and nodded. "Yup, of course I do."

Ashton was quiet for a second before continuing. "You promised me a date, remember?"

Michael slowly looked up into Ashton's eyes and grinned. "Yeah, I remember that. Flirty one, wasn't I?"

Ashton laughed. "Like hell. So when do I get to go on this promised date, Mr. Clifford?" Ashton joked lightly. 

Michael leaned over and touched Ashton's knee. "Tomorrow, at six. I'll pick you up."

Ashton looked up with a surprised expression. He didn't expect Michael to take him seriously, after all, they've became friends now, and Ashton thought Michael forgot about how flirty they were during their first conversations. 

"Oh. Okay. Um, sounds good," Ashton said with a blush. 

Michael stood up and helped pull Ashton to his feet. "Perfect. I'll take you home now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was too short but don't worry, a longer and better chapter will be posted later tonight! Just filler chapter to keep you guys interested! Hope you enjoyed xx


	5. the colours of the wind and the wind in your hair chapter five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yet another short filler to keep to guys happy and updated before I post the big chapter about the date :) enjoy!

Ashton paced his room, the floor covered in discarded pants and shirts, and his hands tugging frustratedly at his hair. 

"Dammit," he muttered under his breath, kicking a sweater out of his way. 

In ten minutes, Michael was going to pick up Ashton for their date and he still didn't have anything picked out to wear. He was pretty stressed out when he was in this situation around twenty minutes ago, but now it was just ridiculous. 

He sat on his bed and pulled out his phone, dialing the number he's memorized since sixth grade and held it to his ear. 

Luke picked up on the second ring. "Hey man, what's u-"

"Luke. I don't know what to fucking do and I've tried on everything and nothing works and now its a mess and in ten minutes, I just," Ashton cut him off in a ramble. 

"Dude, calm down. Why are you freaking out?" Luke asked calmly. 

"Michael's gonna be here soon. And I don't have anything to wear."

Luke signed heavily. "I knew you liked him. Ash, we'll talk about that later. But first, stop panicking and just listen. Your dark blue jeans, the skinny ones? Put that on. And for your shirt, um. That crew neck sweater?"

Ashton quickly rummaged through his clothes and pulled on the skinnies. 

"What crew neck?!" Ashton demanded and ten checked his watch. "Luke, dammit. He'll be here in five minutes!"

"The light burgundy one, you know," Luke replied, rolling his eyes. "Wear some high tops, and you're set. Jesus, you worry too fucking much."

Ashton laughed, relieved. "Thank you Lukey, what would I ever do without you?"

"Show up to a date in horribly unfashionable clothes?" Luke said. 

"Shut up," Ashton replied, but with total appreciation in his voice. "I'll call you later, kay? You know I mean it, thanks."

"Anytime darling, have fun," Luke said in a cheeky voice. "Use a condom," and then he hung up. 

Ashton laughed out loud at Luke's comment just as his doorbell rang. Throwing on the sweatshirt and slipping on the high tops in a couple swift movements, Ashton fled downstairs and opened the door after a quick look in the mirror. 

Michael was shuffling his feet at his doorstep, with a shy smile on his face, something unusual for Michael. Ashton's eyes trailed downwards, examining Michael's simple, tight-fitting black v-neck and painted on black jeans. 

Michael chuckled at Ashton's staring, and Ashton swung his eye back up, blushing. 

"Um, hi," Ashton said with an embarrassed smile. 

"And hello to you," Michael said with a cute grin. 

"You look nice," Ashton offered, trying to lessen the awkwardness. 

"I could say the same about you. Cuter than ever," Michael shamelessly flirted. 

Ashton flushed and looked away, causing Michael to laugh again. "Ready to go?"

Ashton nodded and followed Michael to his motorcycle. 

"Where are we going?" Ashton asked as they rode slowly down the road. 

"A couple different places. I had more than one idea for the date so I decided why not just do them all, yeah?" 

Ashton's heart warmed at the though of Michael brainstorming ideas for their date, spending time thinking about what would be the perfect time. This gesture was adorable, and Ashton was trying to contain his smile. 

"Yeah," he said back. "Sounds good."

They drove for a while, the roar of the bike's engine filling up the silence. Ashton started to hear sounds of people talking and music in the distance and he wondered where Michael was bringing him. As they drove over and down the hill, Ashton saw. 

Just outside their town, a huge carnival is set up for a week annually, but Ashton has never been to the event before. Looking down, he saw tents and crowds of people, performers and even an elephant. But the most extravagant part of the carnival was the Ferris wheel, high enough to almost be seen from Ashton's house if he looked in the right direction. 

"Oh," Ashton breathed as they slowed to a stop in the makeshift parking area. 

"I've never been so I thought it might be fun. But like, if its not, we can always leave . . ." Michael trailed off. 

"No, I want to stay. I've never been either. Don't worry, I know we'll have a blast," Ashton smiled up at Michael and other boy returned it. 

"C'mon," Michael said, tugging his arm. "Let's go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed! Stay tuned, anther chapter will be up shortly! And it'll be a longer one, I promise.   
> Thank you xx


	6. the colours of the wind and the wind in your hair chapter six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And the date continues!

Ashton was standing in line with Michael, gripping a cone of cotton candy in one hand and a stuffed Pikachu in the other. Michael had easily won the doll at one of the carnival games and presented it to Ashton with a wide, triumphant smile. Ashton had to hold back from grabbing Michael right there and kissing him hard on the mouth, and the sheer fondness for the boy must have shown clearly through his twinkling eyes as he accepted the gift. 

Now they were in line for the Ferris wheel as it was getting dark. After a couple hours of games and rides, both boys just wanted to sit and relax now and Ashton decided that the giant wheel would be fun as well.

As they reached the front of the line, Michael helped Ashton into the seat and placed the Pikachu between them. The buckled up and then the wheel started moving, making its way around in in slow movements. Ashton stared into the sky, entranced by the view, the bright stars and the cluster of urban sprawl that was their little town. 

"Beautiful," Michael marveled quietly. "Yeah?"

Ashton nodded. "Our town looks so small. Can't believe I've spent my life there."

Michael snorted. "And can't wait to get the hell out of there. Actually go places and leave this little place behind."

Ashton frowned. He didn't really think down on his home and he didn't think that Michael did either but it seemed like the other boy resented it. 

"You don't like it here?" Ashton asked carefully. 

"No. Fuck, how could you?"

"Familiarity. Order. No surprises," Ashton said. "That's what I like."

"But what about adventure?" Michael inquired. "What about exploring and experiencing and the feeling thrill of surprises and doing crazy new things? How do you not thirst for that?" 

Ashton blushed and shrugged. "It's not like I don't want to go out in the real world. I just don't want to leave and have everything fall apart, and not work out. I'm scared Michael, shit."

Michael's face immediately went soft. "No, I get it. I know what you mean." He reached out and took Ashton's hand. "But sometimes you have to take chances. You never know, sometimes it ends up good. I'm glad I took this chance," he said, gesturing to him and Ashton. 

Ashton looked at him questioningly. "This chance?"

Michael nodded. "I wasn't going to come by the diner that day, when I asked you out? I thought of everything that could go wrong, you rejecting me, me making a fool out of myself, saying the wrong thing. I thought of just forgetting about everything and not doing it." Michael laughed lightly. 

"God, I was so scared. But then I thought, how will I know if I don't try? What if I'm wasting a perfect opportunity, letting something go that could be an amazing thing? So I did it. And I'm so happy that I did because this happened. You happened."

Ashton was staring incredulously at Michael, his mouth slightly agape with disbelief. He was so touched by what Michael said and he was speechless. 

Michael blushed and bit his lip before continuing. "I'm so happy that we became friends because I don't know what I would have done without you putting a smile on my face everyday. Without you telling me stories and secrets at our little place. Without you, just you being there and making me so damn happy all the time. And when you smile or laugh that fucking adorable laugh of yours, I can't help myself but to ask what I did to deserve someone like you. These last couple months have been so amazing and I don't think I've ever been happier. Fuck, Ash. I think I love you," he finished with a long breath, closing his eyes. 

Both boys were quiet for a moment, Ashton trying to take in what Michael had just said to him. He was overwhelmed, with surprise and happiness and so much love that he thought his heart was going to burst. He tried to put a sentence together in his head but all he could think of was Michael's voice saying "I love you." The silence was growing longer now and Ashton was urging himself to just say something, anything. 

"Michael, I just," he managed to spit out. He took a deep breath and cleared his head. "Fuck."

He turned his body towards Michael as far as his seat belt would let him and reached up. Ashton touched Michael's cheek softy as the other boy swallowed sharply. 

The Ferris wheel jerking to a stop broke the spell and Ashton pulled back his hand. The climbed out of the seat and stood awkwardly facing each other. 

"Um, it's getting dark," Ashton said nervously. 

Michael nodded but didn't look at Ashton. "Yeah, let's go." And he started walking towards where his bike was parked. Ashton followed him a step behind as they quietly made their way to the motorbike. He was quiet on the outside but he was screaming at himself inwardly to just say it back, to tell Michael how he feels, but he remained silent. 

They wordlessly got onto the bike and Michael surged forward, speeding down the road back to their little town. Michael was riding really fast, taking sharp turns and passing by cars like lightning and Ashton felt his arms grip Michael tighter. 

They slowed to a stop in front of Ashton's house minutes later and Michael got off to walk him to his door. 

Ashton turned to Michael when they were on the porch. 

"Look, I-" Michael started at the same time Ashton said, "Michael listen-"

They laughed nervously and Michael motioned at Ashton. "You first."

Ashton nodded. "Michael, god. Everything you said shocked me-" he started but Michael cut him off. 

"I'm sorry okay? Sorry if that's not how you feel and I will completely understand if you don't want to see me again-" Michael said in a rush but Ashton groaned with frustration. 

"What the fuck? No! I'm sorry, I'm so bad with explaining and words and just. Dammit, Michael. I love you okay? I love you so damn much, it hurts. And hearing you say it just-" Ashton blurted, his heart thumping. 

But Michael didn't let him finish. He leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Ashton's waist, pulling him closer. Only until Ashton was flush against him did Michael press their lips together. Ashton's mouth was soft and wet and inviting and Michael pressed hard against the plush lips. His hands flew up to cup Ashton's face and his thumbs gently rubbed the sharp indents of Ashton's dimples. God, his dimples. Michael could stare at Ashton's smile all day, bright and wide with pink lips and those fucking dimples. 

Michael quietly groaned into Ashton's mouth as he trailed his hands down to squeeze Michael's denim clad ass. Ashton licked his way into the other boy's mouth and deepened the kiss into something more dirty. Ashton's wandering hands and hot mouth on Michael made him weak in the knees and he was using support from Ashton's shoulders to keep him up. 

Michael reluctantly pulled away for a second, he mouth brushing against Ashton's ear. "Are you going to invite me in or are we going to fuck on your front porch?" 

Ashton swallowed hard and grabbed Michael's hand. "Come," he said and pulled Michael through the door and quietly upstairs. The stumbled in the dark into Ashton's room and Michael sat on the bed as Ashton closed and locked the door. He turned around and pushed Michael down, crawling on top and continuing the kiss. Michael started tugging at Ashton's shirt and he obliged, pulling it over his head in a second. Ashton straddled Michael's hips between his thighs and leaned down to suck marks into the other boy's exposed neck. 

"Fuck," Michael whispered and pulled of his own shirt. Ashton traced the ink marking Michael's skin with a cold finger, making Michael shiver. Then the blonde boy lowered his head, kissing and licking and sucking his neck and collar and chest. Michael squirmed with pleasure as Ashton trailed his mouth farther down, licking at his nipples and running both hands down his waist slowly. Michael pushed himself up so he was sitting against the headboard and pulled Ashton closer so their chests and groins were pressed together. Ashton was still straddling Michael and the sudden press of friction made them both gasp. Ashton moved his hips in a small circle, brushing their erections against each other through the denim on their jeans and Ashton threw his head back and moaned at the pleasure. Michael firmly grabbed the blonde boy's hips and pressed him down as he lightly bucked upwards, drawing another moan from Ashton. His dick was hot and throbbing, begging to be touched, so he climbed off hastily to pull off his jeans and boxers, Michael taking this opportunity to do the same. Pushing the discarded clothes to the side, Ashton repositioned himself over Michael, sitting in his lap with each leg splayed on either side of Michael's thin hips. Now with their bare dicks rubbing against each other, Michael felt the familiar warmth of arousal spreading through his body. Ashton ground his hips downwards to create more friction and pleasure shot up his stomach. 

"Want you to fuck me," Ashton breathed, still pressing his hips down with a whimper. 

"Yeah," Michael said with a low moan. "Fuck, yeah. Okay."

Ashton leaned to the drawer of the table beside the bed. He pulled out a little bottle of lube and blushed. 

"Um," he said, handing it to Michael.

Michael laughed and squirted some of the liquid onto his fingers. He reached down and lathered his cock before reaching under Ashton's body and teasing at his hole with a slick finger. It was an awkward angle with Ashton sitting on Michael's lap, but he still managed to get two knuckles deep into Ashton's hole, opening him up as best as he could. Ashton was panting and squirming and trying not to press himself down into Michael's fingers. When Michael pulled his hand away, Ashton rose his hips up and positioned himself over Michael. Michael guided the other boy onto his cock and Ashton dropped lower until his ass was pressed flush against Michael's hips. He was full and hot and every move made his body jerk with pleasure and he cried out. Michael was holding Ashton's hips as he rose up and lowered himself again slowly. 

"Fuck," Michael moaned, feeling the hot tightness of Ashton stretched out around him. Ashton moved faster now, slapping his ass down against Michael hips rhythmically, drawing illicit moans from both boys. Ashton rode Michael harshly and dirtily, leaning forward to hold into Michael's shoulders and bouncing himself up and down off the cock that was stretching him open. Ashton gasped loudly, whimpering as he felt Michael's dick brushing over his prostate over and over until he felt a bundle of warmth build in the pit of his stomach. Michael was pressing upwards too now, struggling to keep upright as Ashton rode him, pounding his body down onto Michael's cock so hard that his head was spinning with pleasure. 

"Fuck, Michael," Ashton whimpered, biting his lip hard. 

"You're so tight," Michael moaned in a low voice. "So hot, riding my dick."

Ashton let out a high pitched moan as his orgasm built, feeling closer and closer to climaxing. "I'm gonna, Michael, I'm-" he cut off with a shuddering moan as he came on Michael's stomach and chest, still riding out his orgasm. His body clenched and he slowed down his bouncing until he realized that Michael hasn't even came yet. He grinded down hard and in a couple quick, dirty bounces, Michael came inside Ashton with a shout and whimpering moans as the pleasure of his orgasm filled him. 

Ashton climbed off Michael and winced at the sudden feeling of emptiness before messily kissing the other boy. 

Michael kissed back hastily and pulled away. "Ash, fuck. That was-you were-" 

Ashton giggled. "I know," he said, snuggling up to Michael's side and Michael placed an arm around him. 

"Was that your-have you ever?" Michael struggled to find the words. 

"Yeah," Ashton shrugged. "You were my first."

Michael smiled. "Well, you're amazing," he gushed, pressing his lips to Ashton's temple. "We're gonna do that again, right?"

Ashton smirked. "Next time I'll make you beg for it," he teased, and both boys laughed tiredly. 

All Ashton remembered after that was kissing a head full of multicoloured hair and Michael's warm body held against his own before he drifted to sleep with a smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy sorry that this took sooo long to update, it's just that I wanted it to be perf. 
> 
> I apologize for the badly written smut and hope that you can forgive me
> 
> Also give me feedback! If you like where this is going, if I have grammar errors or if I could improve on some things. Thanks and ily


	7. the colours of the wind and the wind in your hair chapter seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! Notes at the end, enjoy!

Ashton woke up to a soft kiss on his cheek and rolled over to face Michael. 

"Good morning," he said sleepily. 

Michael smiled. "Morning!" He sounded too cheerful to have just woken up, and Ashton guessed that he must have been awake for a while. 

"You could have woken me up sooner, you know, " Ashton said, rubbing his eyes.

Michael shrugged. "I didn't mind waiting. I guessed you would have been pretty tired out," he added with a cheeky smile. 

Ashton blushed as the events from last night that Michael was referring to replayed in his head. 

He opened his mouth to reply with sassy remark when his door swung open and his dad stepped in. 

"I heard you come in pretty late last night Ash, where-" his dad stopped when he saw that Ashton wasn't alone in his bed. 

Everyone in the room was silent for about two seconds before Ashton opened his mouth. 

"Dad, I-" he started, but his father cut him off.

"What the fuck," he stated, blinking twice before saying again, "What. The. Fuck."

Michael stirred in his position on the bed, opening his mouth to say something but Ashton's dad spoke before Michael could say a word. 

"Shut up," he shouted. "And get out of my house."

"Dad!" Ashton yelled back but his father paid no attention to him. 

"How dare you come into my house, and turn my son into a fucking fag!"

Michael grabbed his boxers from under the covers and slipped them on in record time. 

"Sir, with all do respect-" Michael tried to keep his voice calm. 

"Don't you 'sir' me," Ashton's dad spit out. "Didn't I tell you to get out of my god damned house?"

Michael threw an apologetic look at Ashton, sitting up on his bed completely frozen in shock.

"I'm sorry," Michael managed to stutter out before running out the door. 

And that unnecessary apology was the last thing Michael said to Ashton for a very long time. 

~~~

Ashton sat at his desk, twirling his pencil between his fingers and not really paying attention to what his teacher was saying. 

He glanced at the clock and sighed, a bit too loudly, earning a couple looks from his classmates. He tapped his foot to each tick the clock made, and after the last minute of class passed, he was the first out of his chair, almost out of the door when the bell rang. 

He walked quickly through the halls, hoping to get to his locker and get out before bumping into her but when he felt a soft tap on his shoulder, he knew his little escape plan failed. 

"Hey," Lia said with a smile, walking beside Ashton and matching his stride as they made their way out of the building. 

Ashton pasted on a smile. "Hi," he said, hoping his voice sounded as cheerful as hers. 

It's not like he hated her, he actually really liked her. She was laid back and funny, and wasn't a bore to talk to. He just dreaded after school with her, walking her home and kissing her on the doorstep, hearing her whisper those three words that he was forced to say back. 

Lia was smart, pretty, confident and classy. She was the perfect girlfriend, Ashton knew that. But he didn't like her the way his father wants him to. Sure, she's a great friend, but he'll never think of her in any other way. 

He asked her out about a month ago anyways, earning a proud smile and nod of approval from his father when she was introduced to him as "my girlfriend". He kissed her on their second date and Lia was more than happy to kiss back, and when his dad walked in on they couple making out on the couch, his only reaction was an "oops" and "you kids..."

Ashton was now the perfect son again. Good marks. Steady job. Hard worker. Straight. And his father was happy. 

But Ashton wasn't. Three months had passed since his and Michael's date, three months since the last time they spoke, held each other, laid together in the clearing. Three months since Ashton had really, genuinely smiled. 

After his father caught him and Michael together, he only spoke four words regarding what happened, "Never again, Ashton. Never," before walking out of his room, and didn't talk about it again, as if it never happened. 

The next day, when Ashton saw Michael, he started walking towards him to apologize for everything and ask if he was okay, but Michael promptly turned around and walked away fast. Ashton was confused at his weird behavior but brushed it off with the thought that maybe he didn't see him. But the next time he tried to approach Michael, it happened again. And again. He was avoiding Ashton, making no eye contact and walking in the opposite direction as him. 

Ashton was hurt. He was hurt and confused and angry at Michael for ignoring him. He stopped trying to catch Michael's eye after a week. He stopped rushing out of class to get to Michael's bike before him. He stopped trying to fix things. If Michael was going to let everything go, their friendship and what could have been an actual relationship, then Ashton didn't care. Or so he told himself. 

But what Ashton didn't know was what happened after Michael was kicked out. He didn't see his father threaten Michael. He didn't hear his father tell Michael that if he ever came anywhere near his son, he'd pay. He didn't know his father called Michael a faggot, a dirty disgusting faggot who's poisoning his son, ruining his life and sabotaging everything Ashton has.

Ashton didn't hear any of that, didn't see any of it and he'll never know that Michael left him to save him, he loved the blonde boy enough to pretend he didn't for his own good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gahhhh I know I say somewhere in a reply to a comment that I'll have this for yesterday but I was rlly busy and alskfjffjsjakd
> 
> Im sorry for making you all wait. 
> 
> Thank you for being patient. Now I'll try to get a new chapter out every three days, four at the most. And if it's not out after four days, come yell at me via twitter @BOTTOMZAYN okay I hope you all enjoyed thanks lovelies byee


	8. the colours of the wind and the wind in your hair chapter eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry the delay lovelies, here's a quick chapter. just a filler, more eventful chapters coming soon! Enjoy!

Luke noticed a difference. 

But how could he not? 

His best friend stopped texting him and stopped coming over. He'd be silent during lunch and during class, offering a hello and some responses here or there, but really, nothing else. 

Luke didn't push it. Not once did he ask about Michael or what Ashton could possibly see in him. Not once did he try to pry it out of him. He tried to find out what was making Ashton so upset, but gave up weeks ago. He knew if he didn't get it out of him by now, he never would. Luke just hoped that Ashton will open up to him soon and will go back to being normal. 

After school one day, Luke tentatively asked Ashton if he wanted to come over. They hadn't hung out in almost three months and Luke was sick of missing his best friend. He was surprised when Ashton nodded and turned his mouth up in a tight smile. 

As they were walking, they heard the engine of a motorbike revving behind them, and the boys curiously looked back, Ashton half expecting Michael. But to both boy's surprise, a guy with brown hair and soft features was slowing his bike down beside them. 

"Ashton?" he guy said, in an accent that suggested he wasn't from here. 

Ashton nodded, confused. 

"This is gonna sound weird, fuck. I can't believe Michael put me up to this," he guy rambled. "Anyways, you should know that he's sorry and he wishes he could explain? I don't know, something like that. He misses you."

Ashton blinked. "Michael? Explain what?" He frowned. "Why doesn't he come and talk to me himself instead of sending a messenger boy, for God's sake."

The guy sighed. "Listen, to be honest, I couldn't care about whatever crap is going on between you guys. But what I do care about is Michael and as much as I'd rather not say it out loud, he's my best friend and I love that guy so whatever drama you have that's making him so damn upset, you better fix it or whatever because I can't handle him sulking and being pissed off and fucking crying anymore."

And with that, he started the engine and drive away, leaving the boys speechless. 

Luke was the first to break the silence. "Fuck, he was hot. Wait what happened between you and Michael? And god, that guy was hot."

Ashton groaned. "Shit, I don't know. I didn't do anything! And he said Michael's upset? Fuck, I'm so fucking confused, why doesn't he just talk to me?" Ashton paused. "Wait, you thought he was hot?"

Luke blushed. "Fuck, I don't know. Yes. No. I'm not gay, no. But fuck, yes."

Ashton stared at him for a while. "Oh-kay. Right, so whenever you come to a conclusion, let me know," he said, and then started to walk, Luke following behind him. 

He flushed an even deeper shade of red and quickly tried to change the subject. "So, Michael? What happened? Is this why you've been fucking depressed for like, three months?" 

Ashton looked away. "Yeah," he replied in a quiet voice. 

Luke lowered his voice. "Hey, man. I'm not gonna judge or anything. Tell me." 

The boys walked in silence for a couple minutes before Ashton spoke. 

"We started hanging out. After school, everyday. It was awkward at first but then we became friends, like really good friends really quickly. But-" Ashton sighed. "I liked him, Luke. I really did. He asked me out on a date, three months ago and it was the most fun I've had in a while. Dammit, he told me he loved me."

Michael stopped talking and Luke patiently waited for him to finish. 

"Fuck, I felt the same way. We, um. Came back to my house that night." Ashton swallowed, feeling his cheeks getting hot at the memory. "So, uh. We fucked."

Luke glanced at Ashton from the corner of his eye, but nodded, encouraging him to continue. 

"My dad saw us in the morning. Yelled, and then kicked Michael out. Told me to never bring a boy home again. And then Michael stopped talking to me. Avoided me. Fuck, it hurt. One day we loved each other, the next, he disappears from my life."

Ashton took a shuddering breath. "That guy, who says he's Michael's best friend. He said Michael is upset, so then why did he do it? I don't understand."

"Fuck, man," Luke started. "I don't know what to say. No wonder you've felt like shit for so long. Ash, I wish you would have said something to me earlier? I don't know, we could have talked. I don't want you to just keep stuff from me and let shit build. I'm your best friend." 

Ashton nodded. "I know, I know. I knew how you thought of Michael, so I never told you exactly how close him and I were, and when all thy happened, I didn't want to bother you with shit that you didn't even know about."

"Ashton . . ." Luke started. "You wouldn't be bothering me with anything, don't think like that. Yeah, so, Michael's not exactly my favourite guy. But you could have talked to me about all this. Okay?"

Ashton smiled at Luke. "Yeah, okay."

"Good. So anyways, that was really shitty of Michael, to just stop talking to you like that. But maybe your dad scared him?" Luke suggested. 

"Then couldn't Michael just talk to me at school? Yes, he could. And he hasn't," Ashton laughed bitterly. 

"I'm sorry mate," Luke said softy and sincerely. "I really am."

Ashton smiled and them shoved him. "Yeah, yeah. So are we not going to talk about your newfound sexuality now?"

Luke groaned and shook his head. "No. Shit."

"The first step is a acceptance," Ashton said in a teasing, sing-song voice. 

"So maybe I did think he was . . . visually pleasing. So what," Luke retorted. 

"So what?! Dude, this is great. Now we can spend quality time together bonding over hot guys," Ashton shrieked, nudging Luke playfully. 

"Ugh," Luke groaned, dropping his head into his hands. "We are not talking about this."

Ashton laughed. "Maybe not now, my dear. But soon. Whenever you're ready, just come to me, babe."

Luke flicked his cheek, grumbling about how he'll beat the shit out of him, but it was all half-heartedly. He was just so happy to have his best friend back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jesus, sorry for how delayed this is. Also sorry about how shit it is. Expect better, longer chapters soon!
> 
> Also!
> 
> I've loved all the comments ive been getting and it's really making me feel good about writing this fic, that people are actually there reading and enjoying. 
> 
> Thank you all.


	9. the colours of the wind and the wind in your hair chapter nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry sorry sorry for the giant dely

Michael sat on his bed and dropped his head into his hands. His eyes were red and his head was hurting and would it be totally cheesy to admit that his heart was hurting too?  
  
"So that's all he said?" Michael asked for about the tenth time, and Calum shot him a look.   
  
"Yes, for fucks sake. That's it. I told him exactly what you wanted, and that's it," Calum sighed. "Look, he looked pretty gutted and really confused. Just talk to him, mate."  
  
Michael groaned. "I can't. Calum, fuck, I told you already, I can't. His dad made it very clear and I wish I could but dammit, I can't."

He'd spent weekend trying to build up the courage to talk to Ashton and explain what was going on but then the harsh words of Ash's father rang in his ears,  _faggot faggot faggot and_ he couldn't, he couldn't risk Ashton getting in trouble and couldn't risk knowing that just saying a word to Ash could ruin the poor boy's life.

So he kept quiet and stared at Ashton when he wasn't looking and avoided him when he was. He wondered if it was as hard on Ashton as it was on him, so he cowardly sent someone to see, and now he realized how dumb the idea was, to send his best friend and check up on Ashton when he was obviously ok with his puppy-dog of a best friend and cupcake of a girlfriend.

Calum sat down beside Michael and pulled him into his arms. "I'm sorry, mate. I know it's hard, but there's no way let him know exactly how you feel unless you tell him. He'll understand then."  
  
Michael sighed. "I have to, don't I?"

He knew this was the only way. He could only pretend these feelings didn't exist for so long. He needed Ashton, needed to hear his laugh and feel his touch and it was quite pathetic, if Michael was being honest.  
  
"Yeah," Calum nodded. "And I'll come with you. Besides, I don't mind seeing that cute friend of his anyways."  
  
Michael laughed. "Oh god, Luke? That guy fucking hates me. Good luck trying to bag him."  
  
Calum playfully slapped his shoulder. "Just you watch, I'll have him in no time. You just focus on winning your man back."  
  
~~~  
  
"See you tomorrow, yeah?" Lia asked with a soft smile, looking up at Ashton with wide eyes.   
  
Ashton smiled back. "Yeah, of course."  
  
"Love you, you know," Lia said with a blush.   
  
Ashton's smile tightened. "Yeah, uh, love you too."  
  
Lia pushed up on her toes and pecked Ashton on the cheek before walking up her porch and into her house with a wave.  
  
Ashton sighed. He felt guilty, for lying, leading her on. He genuinely liked Lia and felt bad pretending to have these feelings for her, leaving her completely oblivious to the situation. It wasn't fair to the sweet girl and this needed to stop soon.   
  
He thought about breaking up with her before but he was scared of what his father would think, plus he didn't want to hurt Lia. So by staying with her, he keeps everyone happy.   
  
That is, except for himself. 

So he made up this mind, Ashton would have to break up with her. He'd tell Lia that she is amazing and he really does like her and hope that she won't be too upset. The last thing he wants is to lose another friend, especially someone as amazing as her.

As for his father, he didn't know how he'd tell him. His father would come to the conclusion that Ashton really is gay, and he wasn't looking forward to that talk, if there was going to be any civilized talking anyways. But he needed to do this and possibly fix things with Michael too, starting with breaking it off this Lia.  
  
When he got home, he walked up the stairs to his room right away and dropped his bag on the floor. Pulling his shirt over his head, he flopped onto his bed for a quick nap before having to face his piles of homework and the conversation he'll be soon having with his father.  
  
"Ashton!"   
  
Ashton shot his head up, eyes still half closed and sight blurred.   
  
"What?" He shouted back, rubbing his eyes.   
  
"Dinner, come down!"  
  
He stumbled out of bed and made his way downstairs and into the kitchen, taking his seat at the table.   
  
"So," his dad said as he served Ashton some pasta. "How are you and Lia?"  
  
Ashton's stomach dropped. Of course that would be the very first thing he'd say, how fucking lucky. He panicked, he wasn't prepared for this. All confidence from earlier was completely gone and he considered just to smile, nod and say "Great!". 

 _No,_ Ashton told himself. He had to do it and there was no backing out.  
  
After too many seconds of silence, Ashton spoke up. "Actually, I," he cleared his throat. "I was sort of thinking of, um, breaking it off with her?"  
  
His father froze. "Breaking it off," he stated, voice monotone.   
  
Ashton looked down and nodded uncomfortably. "She's great and everything but I'm just . . . not feeling it anymore."

His father paused. "This doesn't have anything to do with that-that  _fag,_ does it?"

Ashton flinched at the word and tensed up. This was the first time the Michael situation was mentioned and the topic was heavy in the air, suffocating Ashton. Before he could answer after another moment of silence, Ashton's father spoke, loudly.

"Of course it does, dammit, of  _course_ this has to do with that fucking boy," he shouted, banging his fist against the table, making the plates jump.

"Dad, I-," Ashton started but he was cut off.

"Why are you doing this, huh? Why are you ruining your own life, throwing everything away to be a f-," his raging father stopped himself, seething.

Ashton hung his head, tears threating to spill out of his tightly closed eyes. "I'm not trying to-to ruin anything," Ashton stammered, swallowing hard. "I'm sorry."

His father glared at him over the table. "You have an amazing job for a young kid and a promising future and everything will be completely wrecked if you go around  _sucking cock_! I will  _not_ tolerate that in my house!"  


Ashton said nothing, biting his lip and he held back a sob. He didn't understand his father, how he thought that something as insignificant as who'd he rather date could ruin his life. 

"Your mother would be so disappointed in you," his father said in a low voice.

Ashton's head snapped up, stung by those words. He stared at his father, his emotions all jumbled up in a ball of anger and frustration and hurt and he struggled with a response.

"Don't say that," Ashton was quietly. 

"What did you say?" his father challenged.

"I said,  _don't fucking say that!"_ Ashton yelled, standing up so quickly that his chair fell backwards, hitting the floor with a loud sound that cut through the silence that followed Ashton's outburst.

"You don't get to live under my roof and talk to me like that," his father said. "Get out."

Ashton widened his eyes. "What?"

"Get. Out. You have five minutes to pack up whatever the hell you need and then get out."

Ashton stared at him dubiously for a second before turning on his heel and running up to his bedroom.  


His vision was blurred with tears but he hastily threw some clothes into his bag along with his wallet and phone. He was about to walk out the door but then quickly turned around and dived under his bed, fishing out a box. He took out a bulging envelope and stuffed it in his bag before standing up and looking around his room. The blue painted walls and bulletin board with pictures and other scraps of paper pinned to it stared back at him. After one last look, he was down the stairs and out the door, not even glancing back once at his home and his father's figure standing in the doorway. 

Ashton walked thoughtlessly through the neighbourhood and stopped in front of an all too familiar house. Sitting on the curb, he pulled out his phone and dialed a number. After the third ring, Luke picked up.

"Hey man, what's up?" Luke greeted cheerfully.

"Luke," Ashton said quietly, his voice broken and filled with grief.

Luke's voice immediately changed, suddenly concerned. "Ash, what's wrong?"

"I'm outside your house, can you-,"

"I'm coming out."

In less than a minute, Luke was jogging down his front steps and sitting next to Ashton, pulling him in for a tight hug. 

"God, what happened? Are you okay?"

Ashton sniffed. "Fuck, it's a long story. I just-can I stay here tonight? Maybe for . . . a bit longer after?"

Luke nodded. "Of course, Ash. Come on then, it's fucking cold. But you have to explain everything to be in the morning."

"Okay," Ashton promised, letting Luke pull him up and leaned on him as they walked to the front door. "I'm sorry."

Luke squeezed his friend's shoulder softly. "You have nothing to apologize for mate."

Ashton laughed softly, without humour.

"You're wrong."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys im so so so sorry for the huge delay  
> i know i havent updated in forever but everything was busy preparing for school and then the first week of school just ended and writer's block happened and i just kept staring at the cursor trying to write between stressing about school  
> so  
> thanks for being patient and i hope you enjoy the chapter  
> thank you for not giving up on me lol love you guys loads and thank you all so much for the kind words in the comments, ive tried to reply to every single one of you :)))


	10. the colours of the wind and the wind in your hair chapter ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i apologize greatly for this too-long wait

Ashton woke up cold, his bare torso exposed and head aching. 

He sat up and looked beside him, at Luke curled up in a ball clutching the blanket, and remembered where he was with a start.

Groaning, he tried to pull the covers out of Luke's grasp to cover his cold body but even in his sleep, Luke hung on tight.

Letting out a big sigh, he got out of bed slowly and tip toed over to Luke's closet, hastily picking out a warm looking jumper and cozy sweats. Pulling on the clothes, he silently walked over to his bag, strewn at the end of the bed and picked it up. He pulled out the bulging envelope shoved between pairs of socks and a shirt and slipped out of Luke's room, shutting the door behind him. As quietly as he could, he walked down stairs and out the door.

Sitting on the cold stone stairs, Ashton placed the envelope beside him and hugged his knees, thinking about yesterday and last night and everything that happened. His heart swelled remembering his best friend's kindess and instant invitation to stay the night and then his blood went cold thinking about what happens now. 

Will he ever be able to come back home? Is his father's house even his home anymore? Will Luke's parents tell his dad where to find him? Is he going to have to live with Luke forever?

Ashton rubbed his face and tears threatened to spill over his eyes as his head ran wild with all the questions. He let out a quiet sob and swallowed. Reminding himself to breathe, he grabbed the envelope and reached inside, pulling out the first glossy piece of paper his fingers touched. 

It was a picture of him, about six years old, sitting on the beach. There's sand coating his chubby legs and hands but the smile on his face confirms that he was happy nonetheless. His mother sat beside him, next to a sad, drooping sandcastle, a wide grin on her face as she looked at her smiling son.

Ashton felt his mouth turn up into a tiny, sad smile as he looked at the look of pure love on his mothers face.

He pulled out a handful of pictures and flipped through them.

His mom and him on his tenth birthday, smiling infront of his handmade Spiderman cake, sitting on his mom's shoulders at a fair so he could see above the crowd, a snapshot of both his parents and him screaming on a rollercoaster, posing with his dad as they both held up fishing rods with tiny fish hooked on the end, his parents dressed up as Peter Pan and Wendy for Halloween.

Ashton felt a tear fall as he looked at the last one, his mom smiling cheekily and his dad pressed a kiss to her cheek. So many happy memories, when his family was together and having fun and just being  _happy._ He remembers the days  _before,_ and how lively his father used to be. How he'd roll out of bed on Sundays and run down the stairs, greeted by the smell of warm pancakes and syrup. How his mother would turn a rosy colour when his dad grabbed her hand and twirled her around the kitchen, how Ashton pretended to gag at the sight of his parents kissing, how his mother would hug him when he fell and hurt himself. 

He closed his eyes and could almost  _feel_ his mother's hands touch his cheek, and kiss his forehead. They were so happy, the three of them,that picture perfect family.

And then everything had changed after the accident.

Ashton remembers looking out the car window and squealing, "Are we there yet?!"

He remembers his mom laughing and turning around in her seat to pinch his cheek playfully. "Not even close, darling," she had said.

He remembers his dad's eyes crinkled with a smile, looking at him through the rear-view mirror. 

He remembers the screeching of tires. His dad breaking really hard, Ashton jerking forward. The sound of metal on metal, the forceful impact that knocked the air out of him. Sirens, flashing lights, people shouting.

Ashton pressed his palms against his face, trying to rid himself of the memory but it kept raging on.

His father picking him up out of the hospital bed with tear stained cheeks. He remembers asking his dad over and over, "Where's mum?" and getting no answer. 

~~~

Ashton was sobbing into his hands when Luke found him on the porch. 

"Ash, are you okay? Fuck, I mean of course you're not, but what happened-," Luke stopped talking when he noticed the pictures scattered around him.

"Oh, Ashton," Luke sighed. He gathered the pictures and shoved them into the envelope. He scooped his friend into a hug and pulled him close. "Let's get you inside, yeah?"

Ashton nodded. "I'm sorry," he hiccupped. 

"Stop saying that," Luke said, helping Ashton to his feet, but Ashton just shook his head. 

 When the boys were inside, seated on the couch together, Ashton finally spoke again.

"I just miss her so much."

Luke rubbed circled into Ashton's back as he spoke.

"My dad . . . he kicked me out Luke," Ashton sighed. "Because I told him that I'm gay. He was s-so angry. Why does it matter so much to him?  _Why?"_

"God, Ashton, are you serious?" Luke gasped. "When is he letting you come back?"

"I don't know. I don't know if I want to go back."

"You can stay here," Luke stated instantly. "Until we go off to uni."

Ashton smiled at him softly. "I can't do that. But I do have to stay here for a little."

"Of course, Ashton. Of course. I'm so sorry," Luke said uneasily, not sure what he should say to console his friend.

"S'not your fault," Ashton mumbled.

"And it's not yours either."

"I just wish," Ashton took a deep breathe, "that I wasn't like this, that I could be that normal, golden-boy, straight kid my dad wants."

"But you're not that kid," Luke said. "And you  _do not_ need to be that kid. Babe, Ash, so many people fucking love you and really wouldn't give a shit whether you like kissing guys or girls. Fuck your dad, fuck anyone who cares. Your mom would be  _so fucking proud of you_  if she saw you being strong. She would."

More tears were streaming down Ashton's face, touched by Luke's words. 

"You-you think?" Ashton sniffled.

"I know so," Luke said with defiance. 

Both boys were quiet for a couple moments before Ashton spoke up.

"I'm gonna talk to Michael. And this time I won't let him avoid me."

Luke looked up sharply. "Really? I mean, that's great. Especially after what his friend said..."

"We need to sort it out, yeah?" Ashton said. 

"Please do, you're always so sad," Luke frowned.

"I know, I'm sorry, but I'm going to fix this. I will," Ashton said fiercely. And he knew he wasn't going to stop until him and Michael were okay, maybe not back in a relationship or whatever they were, but  _okay._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys im so sorry for this delayed chapter  
> so so so so sorry  
> thank you so much for not giving up on me, really im so thankful to all of you who are still reading  
> really i am  
> i havent gave up on this fic, im just really busy with school and dont have a lot of time to write  
> thanks a bunch for your patience and the nice words in the comments :) i try to reply to all of you  
> youre all too kind :)  
> lots and lots of love


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